Push.

She said "I don't know if I've ever been good enough. I'm a little bit rusty, and I think that my head is caving in.
And I don't know if I've ever been really loved, by a hand that's touched me;
well I feel like something's gonna give, and I'm a little bit angry..."

She said "I don't know why you ever would lie to me, like I'm a little untrusting, when I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya...
And I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me, you couldn't stand to be near me; when my face don't seem to want to shine,
'cause it's a little bit dirty, well...

Don't just stand there, say nice things to me...
'Cause I've been cheated, I've been wronged,
and you, you don't know me, oh and I can't change. No I won't do anything at all."

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter... 

As long as I'm laughing with you.                                      

The first time I saw her...

The first time I saw her...
Everything in my head went quiet.
All the ticks, all the constantly refreshing images just dissapeared.
When you have Obsesive Compulsive Disorder, you don't really get quiet moments!
Even in bed, I'm thinking;
Did I lock the door? Yes.
Did I wash my hands? Yes.
Did I lock the door? Yes.
Did I wash my hands? Yes.
When I saw her, the only thing I could think about was the hairpin curve of her lips, or the eyelash on her cheek—
the eyelash on her cheek—
the eyelash on her cheek.
I knew I had to talk to her.
I asked her out six times in thirty seconds.
She said yes after the third one, but none of them felt right, so I had to keep going.
On our first date, I spent more time organizing my meal by color than I did eating it, or fucking talking to her...
But she loved it.
She loved that I had to kiss her goodbye sixteen times or twenty-four times or if it was Wednesday.
She loved that it took me forever to walk home because there are lots of cracks on our sidewalk.
When we moved in together, she said she felt safe, like no one would ever rob us because I definitely locked the door eighteen times.
I’d always watch her mouth when she talked—
when she talked—
when she talked—
when she talked
when she talked;
when she talked—
when she talked—
when she talked
when she talked;
when she said she loved me, her mouth would curl up at the edges.
At night, she’d lay in bed and watch me turn all the lights off.. And on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off.
She’d close her eyes and imagine that the days and nights were passing in front of her.
Some mornings I’d start kissing her goodbye but, she’d just leave cause I was just making her late for work...
When I stopped in front of a crack in the sidewalk, she just kept walking...
When she said she loved me her mouth was a straight line.
She told me that I was taking up too much of her time.
Last week she started sleeping at her mother’s place.
She told me that she shouldn’t have let me get so attached to her; that this whole thing was a mistake, but...
How can it be a mistake that I don’t have to wash my hands after I touched her?
Love is not a mistake, and it’s killing me that she can run away from this and I just can’t.
I can’t – I can’t go out and find someone new because I always think of her.
Usually, when I obsess over things, I see germs sneaking into my skin.
I see myself crushed by an endless succession of cars.
And she was the first beautiful thing I ever got stuck on.
I want to wake up every morning thinking about the way she holds her steering wheel.
How she turns shower knobs like she's opening a safe.
How she blows out candles—
blows out candles—
blows out candles—
blows out candles—
blows out candles—
blows out…
Now, I just think about who else is kissing her.
I can’t breathe because he only kisses her once — he doesn’t care if it’s perfect!
I want her back so bad...
I leave the door unlocked.
I leave the lights on.

Neil Hilborn - OCD

I like my body when it is with your

I like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
I like your body.  I like what it does,
i like its hows.  I like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm- smoothness and which I will
again and again and again
kiss, I like kissing this and that of you,
I like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric furr, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh….And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly I like the thrill

of under me you so quite new.
                                                           E.E. Cummings

When you wish for something to happen...

Normalmente cuando deseas demasiado algo durante mucho tiempo, al momento de obtenerlo sucede una de dos cosas: 
O no es nada como te lo esperabas o es mucho más de lo que te imaginabas. De cualquier manera todo se termina yendo a la mierda, dejándote con una sensación de "¿Pero qué carajos acaba de pasar?"

And here we go again.

"-Suddenly there are days where I can't stop worrying, fidgeting, awkward, in place.
>>And then, there're those other days, where I just lay helplessly in his arms, dozed off, like his eyes contain tranquillizer, and the way he looks at me and holds me close make me feel truly loved... And his heartbeat lulls me to sleep and everything is fine... Everything's fine...
'Till he's gone.
And there we go again."

If the world were really, actually ending tomorrow, I'd like your voice sweetly, tenderly humming in my ear as you held me close, to be the last melody I heard before it all went down...

Ese momento en el que hablas de algo que solía matarte por dentro, pero ahora no es más que un recuerdo desagradable. Y mientras las palabras salen de tu boca vos mismo te escuchás y pensás "Que horrible que suena, ahora que lo digo en voz alta", cuando al vivirlo no parecía más que una mala racha. Y sonreís, al hablar de esa deprimente situación que viviste, sonreís, porque ya no te sentís así. Y un sentimiento inunda tu pecho y respirás hondo, las lágrimas asoman a tus ojos y puede que alguna ruede por tu mejilla, tensa por la manera en que tu boca se abre en la sonrisa más grande que jamás mostraste al mundo. Te sentís vivo. Te sentís libre. Encontraste la felicidad. Y ahora te das cuenta que no era tan inalcanzable cómo parecía.

When you really love someone, you tell them that your only wish is for them to be happy.
When in reality, you sit there silently crossing your fingers, your only wish being for you to still be a part of their happiness.

What goes up...
Occasionally, relationships just end for no particular reason. The love just isn’t there anymore. This can be frustrating and confusing, since there’s no obvious cause for the two of you drifting apart. You may not be fighting constantly, but if one or both of you are not happy, you have to put in the effort to fix things -- or walk away.
Occasionally, relationships just end for no particular reason. The love just isn’t there anymore. 
Relationships just end for no particular reason.
For no particular reason. 
No particular reason. 
The love just isn’t there anymore.

Lovianthistaniastitasiania...

There, I said it.

She wished for no more than to run into Ethan’s arms and let him hold her. She didn’t want to talk or explain something she didn’t even understand by herself, she just wanted to cry in his arms, to not loose him. She wanted to kiss him and let her tears speak for her. But she didn't.